Rainbowhandgranade

Heya boys and girls!

As I'm writing this a workman is outside my window drilling into the house wall... it's going over the top of my Jay Brannan song... and the guy isn't even cute. Fail.



It's my boyfriend's graduation tomorrow... which I am totally excited about it. It's not a big ceremony, but I'm just glad there's no issue with me being there as his partner. I should point out that he's at technical college (for those in the US) here it's called TAFE. So that makes it easier, because it's a much more relaxed environment.

Anyway... enjoy the Jay Brannan.

Love Eric.
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - you are what you eat, which is why I keep eating superheros figurines.

Heya Boys and Girlies,

Beauty is a strange and wonderous thing. But as such it is also dangerous. Think of all the women who feel it nessecary to get plastic surgery to appeal to an "ideal standard" of beauty. Research is now showing that syemmtry is less important to beauty than we thought. Apparently we judge beauty on the smoothness and luminosity of the skin.

Another problem I have with beauty is these women who feel it is nesseary to cake make up on to hide their natural features. Trying to make their face a blank canvas on which they can remake themselves. No. This. Is. Wrong. The idea of make up is to be used sparringly, to highlight your natural features. The only two times caking makeup on is okay is when you're a drag queen or youre on t.v..



That's Edward Cullen's excuse and he's sticking to it. Although I must admit I am rather guilty of finding him rather beautiful. His finely chiseled features loo... and this is what I mean about beauty being dangerous, from my rant on make up I hae slid down a slippery sloap into thinking about the finely chiselled features of a movie star.

What is our obession with fame anyway? I mean I know I'm totally guilty of spending too much time on the internet looking for genuine pictures of Daniel Radcliffe nude... (I regret nothing). For some strantge reason as a society we idolise these people for what? Their contribution to a better world? No, we idolise them because they provide welcome distraction from our tiresome lives. We follow developments in their lives, such as their engagements, weddings etc with an unabashed curisoity. And then the marriage breaks up, turns out the man's a wife beater... the woman is a drug addict and then we have the nerve to complain that these are the role models for our children. News flash. Your. Fault. It is our job as a society (and the media has a lot to answer for in regards to this) to provide role models. Instead we chose models, the kind that your jaw drops when she walks in the room. The same woman who was throwing up in the bathroom before.

It's a sad state of affairs when an attractive woman looks at a picture of herself in a magazine and wishes she could naturally achieve that beauty. Natural beauty is no longer enough. We're going to have to learn how to photoshop ourselves in our daily lives.

Love Eric.
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - anorexia and drinking alcohol can both induce vommiting, but only one of them is fun.

Heya Boys and Girls,

So I'm on the bus having a conversation with a friend about his neighbour offering him something. He was complaining about how they woke him up at six am. To which my response was "at least you got some", he then said "no, I turned them down.", I remembered that he disliked knowing his neighbours due to a few past incidences where knowing them had turned out bad. So I replied "Of course, that would mean you had to speak to them again.".

I don't know what you took out of that conversation, but then I realised what the people on the bus would think, considering they would have only heard my side of the conversation.

It's amazing in the English language as to how one setence can mean so many different things. Take for example the sentence "woman, without her man, is nothing". Simple it means that a woman is useless without a man. BUT chenage the punctuation "woman: without her, man is nothing" it now reads that a man is useless without a woman.

Our preconceptions colour how we understand what people say. Firstly it is our perceptions of the world that colour how we see the world - and thus when we hear people speak we hear it through the filters of our notions of what we know of this person, the context of the situation and what we would expect them to say in that particular situation...

When I write things I am often surprised when I've written something and someone comes back to me and says "this says xyz to me" and it is so far from what I was saying that it confuses me, until I anaylise it in a bipartisan way.

The moral of this insane and confusing rant is that despite what people tell you, English is important.

And that's about it.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - Miley Cyrus may be shit, but Avril Lavigne paved the way for her. The moral of this story is kill both of them.

A friend of mine has a ringtone that sounds like the noise traffic lights make when it's okay to for pedestrians to cross the road. Every time her phone rings I laugh, because I have the image in my head of a blind person getting killed.

My economics teacher told me that "gambling is a voluntary tax on stupidity". Last night for the second time in my life I gambled. I went to the third largest casino in the world. I spent $13 and walked away wih $49. I got paid in one dollar coins. I stuffed them into my wallet - which refused to close and left a large bruise on my leg from where it kept hitting. I feel it was time well spent.

Aside from all that senseless ramble - todays topic is guilibity. I took a class called Society and Culture. The teacher was seriously awesome. She taught me things I'll never forget.

If you tell someone that you feel awful with a positive tone chances are they will think you said that you were fine.

If you stand facing the wrong way in an elevator and you are the only person in the elevator people who get into the elevator will face the same way as you.

If you stand in the street staring at the sky long enough people will join in. It helps if you have more than one person to start.

I've spent too many days on MLIA. But I have decided to go through life with more enthuasiasm for creating the absurd. Patch Adams rocks.

As a side note - I'm looking to create a playlist for gay youtubers, and seeing as finding them isn't easy I'm enlisting all the help I can get. Message me with links to profiles if you know any.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - Guilible has been removed from the dictionary.

Apparently in Russia prostitutes are considered to be of a very high status in society, as is the case with Japan and it's Geisha. In Western culture we have very little respect for our whores. Why is this? At a guess I would say it is our deeply religious heritage.

Happy Boys And Happy Girls just came on my ipod - so join in my fun. Yeah my taste in music is weird.




There was a separation of Church and State, but that failed because by definition the state is supposed to reflect the values of society, which in the government's inception was extrememly strong. The problem with that is the state never get the memo that was sent around about the chirch no longer being a relevant organisation within our society. The popularity of religion, particularly Christianity world wide means the organisations have considerable resources that does not hesitate to use it for politicaly purposes, such as weighing in on marriage and abortion debates.Since when did marriage become an institution exclusively belonging to the Church? Wiccans practiced hand-fastenings long before Christianity had marriage. Does the church also claim that marriages that do not directly involve THEIR church are void? All Jewish marriage ceremonies are void, all those marriages performed by licenced marriage celebrants... well you get the idea. The chuch is fucking with the lives of people it has no right too.

So anyway the point of this seeming ramble is that due to the church's widespread influence in our daily lives, in ways we may not even realise, I believe they have managed to instill a set of beliefs into society that are repressive. I'm not saying we should all become whores (although as I remember it Jesus was partial to a whore... Mary Magdalene anyone?)

I think our government should stop listening to the church and start spending more time watching the simpsons.

And remember boys and girls - rape might be illegal but it's also illegal for a man to wear a skirt after dark in the state of Victoria, Australia.

They say technology is making us a more social society... Haha. Yes, we are being more social, in the same way that people who engage in sexual acts online have more sex. This virtual relationship crap is like comparing cyber sex to real sex. One is a poor subsitute of the other, and those who can't get the better version settle for the former.



So getting back to online socialness. Are we more social? No, we are simply in need more "social" time online because it doesn't give us the same quality of face to face interaction. Once again I'm writing on the train. Right now people could be striking up conversation. But they're not. Too scared to? Perhaps.. Lacking the social skills that enable them to do so, probably.

The problem with interacting online with people is it removes a lot of barriers, and for a lot of people that presents a problem when they attempt to interact with people in the real world. Acting like a ten year old online might be considered cute, in the real world it just makes a lot of people want to decapitate you. Online you can get away with all sorts of weird things like making animal noises, crash-tackling people, or even licking weird places on their personage, such as their nose.

Oscar Wilde has a fantastic quote - "Give a man a mask and hell tell you the truth". The internet is one such mask. Able to hide their identity people are not afraid to reveal their unfettered idiosyncracies.

I believe people are most interesting where you remove inhibitions and show their true self. Variety is the spice of life and variety in personality comes in the form of idiosyncracies. The very things we are socialised to think are "abnormal" and must be hidden. Beaten into us a sense that we must conform to be accepted, and being accepted is a fundamental need many people ar driven online to not only explore and unleash their true nature, but also to find acceptance for who they are, unfettered.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - the human body contains a lot of blood, so if you're aiming for arteries, lay a tarp down.

Sometimes I attempt to write letters to a younger version of me - but I had a pretty shit childhood so it usually ends up pretty depressing. But there is some advice I have for my younger self, and the rest of you.

Congratulations. You're going to get old. Unless you die young, but even then the advice I have for you is still relevant. So shut up and listen.

People often make the mistake of thinking that maturity is being all serious and forgetting how to have fun. Guess what. WRONG. Being mature doesn't mean you have to loose your sense of wonder, your imagination or desire for mischevious fun. As it turns out you're actually a complete rascal.

Train yourself to see the world through the eyes of wonder and you'll never be bored. This is cheaper and just as effective as taking drugs. It's much safer.

Your taste in music sucks. Don't worry it doesn't get too much better when you get older.

What other people think affects them. Unless they decide to make it your problem. Problem solving is simple - if you can't bribe it, blow it up (I learnt this from watching Burn Notice).

Train harder, eventually you may be a ninja. To do this you may need to loose a few kilos.

Try not to get arrested, if you get arrested try not to get convicted. If you get convicted have "want aids?" tattoed on your ass.

Above all - remind your mum you love her, the poor bitch had to give birth to you. 'Nough said.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys
And remember boys and girls - gummi bears are the corpses of carebears.
(Yes I watched carebears this morning. And it was awesome.)

On odd numbered days
I'm a little more fragile
And try to lean on you
a little more than I should.

I'm not afriad of heights
But I am afraid of falling

This painting of the world
Is a little off centre
I'm tired of trying
to get it to hang straight

I'm not afriad of heights
But I am afraid of falling

Will you still take me
To the top of the world
Still hold my hand and
Whisper softly, my love?

Someone told me a story about a friend, I will spare their personal details out of respect, but they were having some marital issues. This man said to my friend "Every day a man makes a choice to love his wife".

For me it raises the issue of monogamy. Having had a stint in the mormon church when I was younger, a church which used to support polygamy. It gives me pause for thought, if a religious institution is willing to change it's views on monogamy why do the rest of us find it so difficult? Is it because we're not blindly led by "faith" with the idea that where you go I will follow. Or is it because there is something deeper and more sacred about the union of love?

Feeling somewhat dejected by the thoughts on religion about monogamy, I turn away from religion, and instead of asking what would Jesus do, I ask:


Right now you're probably laughing at my choice, but I feel that the Simpsons is a much better yardstick of contemporary morality than religion. It doesn't instruct, it reflects. It is worth noting that the social context of this work - it is created in a country that is still maintains the image of upholding strong christian values.

Homer and Marge have both had opportunities to cheat on each other, but always decide that their marriage is the most important thing. Even one episode that showed Homer the future of what would happen if they divorced, it showed homer just how happy and rich he'd become after seeing that he asked "But what about Marge?". Insofar as it is possible the Simpsons treat marriage with an almost reverence, and that playing around in that context is so utterly wrong.

This brings me to my next question - what about open relationships. I have friends who are in what appear to be happy healthy open relationships. But this contrasts with my idea of what a healthy relationship is. I struggle against my personal beliefs of a relationship being something of exclusivity and sex something that should only be had between those two people in the relationship. I'm not opposed to one night stands... but only if both people are single.

So at the end of the day... I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - shiny things like knives and forks were designed to fit into power sockets for a reason - Charles Darwin.

All credits to Jodie 'Jellybeann' O'Callaghan for the photo. It's her halloween costume, and aint she babealicious. She's American McGee's 'Alice'.

So I hate halloween. Ya know why? Firstly if I was to give a kid candy any other day of the year police would swarm down on my house, beat me to a pulp and arrest me. On halloween it makes it ok for grown men to give little boys candy. What makes this day so different? It goes against everything that we try to teach children about grown ups. Grown ups are all scary pedophiles that should have the police called on them if they attempt to give you candy. Except on this day of the year. I wonder how manyy kids go missing on halloween because their parents told them it was okay for them to accept candy from a grown up.

The second reason I hate halloween is apparently I'm too old to get candy! Ya know what? Screw you. Who says I'm too old to enjoy dressing up as a scary monster and trick or treating? And I LOVE candy. It's not fair.

And the third reason I hate halloween is everyone thinks it's called halloween and about kids getting candy from grown men and being kidnapped when in fact the actual tradition of halloween is a witching one, originally called all hallows eve, it was when the witches believed that the veil between this world and the next was thin and the evil spirits had access to the earth. The pumpkin carving comes from how they used to decorate their houses to ward evil spirits away.

So if you don't get fat and die of diabetes or get kidnapped I hope an evil spirit gets you to show you that halloween isn't as fun as you think it is, unless you let me play too!

Love Eric.
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - it's not paedophilia if it's a female teacher, the boy was asking for it anyway.

I'm riding the train on my way into the city My thoughts flirt around the carriage, yes flirt, not float. I am checking out the hot guys. I find it rather amusing that as a gay man I am willing to do this in an environment that I do not always feel entirely safe advertising the fact that I am gay.

On a side note my boyfriend always avoids pubic displays of affection (pdas) for that reason. Being gay in a confined spacce is not always a good idea. Especially if you are a hampster.

Haha a guy got on who was obviously stoned off his face so I did a double take and I could see his paranoia levels rising as I looked at him a second time.

But back to my rant.



I'm obviously gay. For whatever reason people see me and they think I'm gay so there is really very little reason for me to even bother attempting to hide my sexuality. I resent the fact that I have to sometimes. Even if it is in my best interests, like not getting gay bashed.

This is why I propose international talk like a gay day. It would be a lot like international talk like a pirate day, only gayer... oh wait pirateshipss were men only events for months, even years at sea with a lot of rum involved. 'nough said. Maybe it will be slightly less gay. But the point stands none the less, the more prevalent something is the more people can accustomise themselves to it and thus understand it more and be less afriad of it.

Love Eric.
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if they can't say no they don't want to, so use chloroform.

Kat says:
*matts not hungry!!
Eric says:
*wow
Kat says:
*and he thinks a strawberry looks like an axe
Eric says:
*Oh yeah
*I see what he did there
Kat says:
*and he keeps talking like an aboriginal.. i may have to kill him. deffinatly an imposter
Eric says:
*if you cut it right it looks like an axe wound
Kat says:
*nah it was just a really flat strawberry
Eric says:
*oh okay
Kat says:
*must kill matt
*must kill matt
*must kill matt
*must kill matt
Eric says:
**hands you a strawberry*
*Kill, my little cupcake! KILL!
Kat says:
*cant.. he farted.. passing out from noxious gas

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if it tastes funky you probably shouldn't have stuck it in your mouth in the first palce.

So this isn't the version I remember learning as a child, but I liked singing this song when I was little. I realised that it was naughty, but just not exactly how naughty it was. This guy's accent gives me giggles.

I'm getting older now (22, and yes I realise that's not old) and I find myself remeniscing as do my friends about how great our toys were back when were were kids. Although there was one toy that stands out as an absolute piece of marketing genius. This toy was designed to piss you off. Yet you had to own one. Even coming from a family with very little money my sister and I both owned one. Figured it out yet? Tamagotchi. The worlds biggest piece of crap plastic, designed to annoy people, owned by everyone. Congratulations whoever designed the marketing campaign for this. True genius.

Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - it doesn't matter how annoying whatever you're doing is, so long as you can get a large enough group of people to join in.

This is an open letter to anyone I offend, or anyone anyone else offends. Guess what - fuck you, and harden the fuck up.

Let me throw some words at you - nigger, faggot, whore, slut, bitch.



If any of those offended you, eugh. Please die or something. Let me tell you where I'm coming from, in school I was picked on so much I dropped out about age 8 or 9 years old. I went to a rough as hell public school, and being articulate and intelligent was as well favoured as a mutation of the black plague and leprosy. Eventually I decided that yes I was a faggot and if anyone called me that I would proudly say yes I am. By acknowledging the truth of the insult I was standing up and claiming it as a positive thing. I had taken the power of the words away. But then from there any time anyone called me something they percieved as negative I took it as a positive thing.

There's a principle in Judo that if your jacket is empty no-one can throw you (which relates to having really light footwork), but this relates back to my topic. If you don't take insults or "negative" words to heart, they can't do anything to you.

In the words of Homer "that's another thing, I resent you using that word, we need that word, it's our word for making fun of you".

Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - everything is flamable if you add gasoline.

When I get my first coffee of the morning from a coffee shop usually the first words out of my mouth are "I love you", not because I'm attracted to the barista or anything but because anyone who gives me coffee deserves my love.

I've scared a waitress or two with my professions of love, but truly, I am a caffeine addict and I feel the need to love anyone who provides me with that magic substance.

Coffee aside, this rant should go somewhere. I think people deserve the right to choose what drugs they put into their system. Personally I'm not a drug taker. But I believe people deserve the right to choose whether or not a substance is good or bad for them. If you compare it to surgery, doctors who are much more qualified to decide whether or not someone should undergo an operation don't always have last say. So if these people who have studied medicine are not the people who get the say on what could potentially save someones life why is it any different with something that could potentially harm someone.

For the public good? It would almost eradicate the black market. Look at Amsterdam, they're so laid back, we should take a leaf out of their bowl.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - money can't buy you love, but it can certainly help you rent it for an hour or two.

If you think six months is a long term relationship - fuck you.

For some unknown reason this topic has sparked the memory of some stupid Shania Twain version of still the one. As I cringe in the memory of how bad that song...



So I was out gay clubbing for my birthday. God only knows why. I hate clubbing and I hate gay men. Plus I hate Kylie, Madonna... well you get the idea. So as I'm trying to get drunk and enjoy myself for some odd reason people were trying to socialise with me. (I sound cynical now, but I was having fun at the time...) Anyway when it came out that I had a boyfriend they'd ask how long we'd been together, which at that time was six months. Everyone on hearing that gave me the exact same reaction "Oh, a long term relationship". No asshole. Fuck you. Just because we're gay it doesn't make six months a long time.

It really made me sad seeing that the consensus of the gay community was that if you had managed to survive six months with someone suddenly it was this amazing thing that was almost incomprehensible.

So if you're one of these people - I hate you.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if you're running with scissors have the blades pointing out, it's always better to impale someone else.

So... apparently in the modern world we've abolished slavery.

As I'm at a restaraunt getting angry waiting for a meal that should have been delivered five minutes ago, I start getting irate at the poor waitress who is serving me. I think to myself if it takes much longer that I will rebuff her for the delay, even though she isn't the one cooking my meal.

As this thought digests, I begin to think how many people in service positions get confused as slaves. Okay - sure we pay them a wage, but slaves were paid wages - in food, enough to survive so that they were able to continue serving. I smile politely when my meal arrives, instead of my usual response to rebuff the waitress. She apologieses for the slow service to which I say no problem.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if a tree falls in the woods and no body hears it, it never happened, the moral of the story is don't get caught.

I suppose introductions are in order, however through this medium unfortunately it is not the regular form of introduction where two or more people explain who they are to one another in as few setences as possible, but this is merely a monologue about oneself.

So the funny thing about explaining who you are is that most people think that most people think their identity first and foremost is their name. On the internet names (at least real ones) are startingly hard to come across. Mine happens to be Eric. What I find is that names are surprisingly poor when it comes to identifying someone. They are after all not unique. So when you ask "Which sally do you mean" the response is usually that persons name with a descriptor. Like "the crazy sally".

So I am usually referred to as the Gay Eric.

I'd go on from here, but I fear my rant will extend too long.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if you can't play nice in the sandbox take a shovel, you'll need it to hide the bodies.