Rainbowhandgranade

All credits to Jodie 'Jellybeann' O'Callaghan for the photo. It's her halloween costume, and aint she babealicious. She's American McGee's 'Alice'.

So I hate halloween. Ya know why? Firstly if I was to give a kid candy any other day of the year police would swarm down on my house, beat me to a pulp and arrest me. On halloween it makes it ok for grown men to give little boys candy. What makes this day so different? It goes against everything that we try to teach children about grown ups. Grown ups are all scary pedophiles that should have the police called on them if they attempt to give you candy. Except on this day of the year. I wonder how manyy kids go missing on halloween because their parents told them it was okay for them to accept candy from a grown up.

The second reason I hate halloween is apparently I'm too old to get candy! Ya know what? Screw you. Who says I'm too old to enjoy dressing up as a scary monster and trick or treating? And I LOVE candy. It's not fair.

And the third reason I hate halloween is everyone thinks it's called halloween and about kids getting candy from grown men and being kidnapped when in fact the actual tradition of halloween is a witching one, originally called all hallows eve, it was when the witches believed that the veil between this world and the next was thin and the evil spirits had access to the earth. The pumpkin carving comes from how they used to decorate their houses to ward evil spirits away.

So if you don't get fat and die of diabetes or get kidnapped I hope an evil spirit gets you to show you that halloween isn't as fun as you think it is, unless you let me play too!

Love Eric.
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - it's not paedophilia if it's a female teacher, the boy was asking for it anyway.

I'm riding the train on my way into the city My thoughts flirt around the carriage, yes flirt, not float. I am checking out the hot guys. I find it rather amusing that as a gay man I am willing to do this in an environment that I do not always feel entirely safe advertising the fact that I am gay.

On a side note my boyfriend always avoids pubic displays of affection (pdas) for that reason. Being gay in a confined spacce is not always a good idea. Especially if you are a hampster.

Haha a guy got on who was obviously stoned off his face so I did a double take and I could see his paranoia levels rising as I looked at him a second time.

But back to my rant.



I'm obviously gay. For whatever reason people see me and they think I'm gay so there is really very little reason for me to even bother attempting to hide my sexuality. I resent the fact that I have to sometimes. Even if it is in my best interests, like not getting gay bashed.

This is why I propose international talk like a gay day. It would be a lot like international talk like a pirate day, only gayer... oh wait pirateshipss were men only events for months, even years at sea with a lot of rum involved. 'nough said. Maybe it will be slightly less gay. But the point stands none the less, the more prevalent something is the more people can accustomise themselves to it and thus understand it more and be less afriad of it.

Love Eric.
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if they can't say no they don't want to, so use chloroform.

Kat says:
*matts not hungry!!
Eric says:
*wow
Kat says:
*and he thinks a strawberry looks like an axe
Eric says:
*Oh yeah
*I see what he did there
Kat says:
*and he keeps talking like an aboriginal.. i may have to kill him. deffinatly an imposter
Eric says:
*if you cut it right it looks like an axe wound
Kat says:
*nah it was just a really flat strawberry
Eric says:
*oh okay
Kat says:
*must kill matt
*must kill matt
*must kill matt
*must kill matt
Eric says:
**hands you a strawberry*
*Kill, my little cupcake! KILL!
Kat says:
*cant.. he farted.. passing out from noxious gas

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if it tastes funky you probably shouldn't have stuck it in your mouth in the first palce.

So this isn't the version I remember learning as a child, but I liked singing this song when I was little. I realised that it was naughty, but just not exactly how naughty it was. This guy's accent gives me giggles.

I'm getting older now (22, and yes I realise that's not old) and I find myself remeniscing as do my friends about how great our toys were back when were were kids. Although there was one toy that stands out as an absolute piece of marketing genius. This toy was designed to piss you off. Yet you had to own one. Even coming from a family with very little money my sister and I both owned one. Figured it out yet? Tamagotchi. The worlds biggest piece of crap plastic, designed to annoy people, owned by everyone. Congratulations whoever designed the marketing campaign for this. True genius.

Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - it doesn't matter how annoying whatever you're doing is, so long as you can get a large enough group of people to join in.

This is an open letter to anyone I offend, or anyone anyone else offends. Guess what - fuck you, and harden the fuck up.

Let me throw some words at you - nigger, faggot, whore, slut, bitch.



If any of those offended you, eugh. Please die or something. Let me tell you where I'm coming from, in school I was picked on so much I dropped out about age 8 or 9 years old. I went to a rough as hell public school, and being articulate and intelligent was as well favoured as a mutation of the black plague and leprosy. Eventually I decided that yes I was a faggot and if anyone called me that I would proudly say yes I am. By acknowledging the truth of the insult I was standing up and claiming it as a positive thing. I had taken the power of the words away. But then from there any time anyone called me something they percieved as negative I took it as a positive thing.

There's a principle in Judo that if your jacket is empty no-one can throw you (which relates to having really light footwork), but this relates back to my topic. If you don't take insults or "negative" words to heart, they can't do anything to you.

In the words of Homer "that's another thing, I resent you using that word, we need that word, it's our word for making fun of you".

Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - everything is flamable if you add gasoline.

When I get my first coffee of the morning from a coffee shop usually the first words out of my mouth are "I love you", not because I'm attracted to the barista or anything but because anyone who gives me coffee deserves my love.

I've scared a waitress or two with my professions of love, but truly, I am a caffeine addict and I feel the need to love anyone who provides me with that magic substance.

Coffee aside, this rant should go somewhere. I think people deserve the right to choose what drugs they put into their system. Personally I'm not a drug taker. But I believe people deserve the right to choose whether or not a substance is good or bad for them. If you compare it to surgery, doctors who are much more qualified to decide whether or not someone should undergo an operation don't always have last say. So if these people who have studied medicine are not the people who get the say on what could potentially save someones life why is it any different with something that could potentially harm someone.

For the public good? It would almost eradicate the black market. Look at Amsterdam, they're so laid back, we should take a leaf out of their bowl.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - money can't buy you love, but it can certainly help you rent it for an hour or two.

If you think six months is a long term relationship - fuck you.

For some unknown reason this topic has sparked the memory of some stupid Shania Twain version of still the one. As I cringe in the memory of how bad that song...



So I was out gay clubbing for my birthday. God only knows why. I hate clubbing and I hate gay men. Plus I hate Kylie, Madonna... well you get the idea. So as I'm trying to get drunk and enjoy myself for some odd reason people were trying to socialise with me. (I sound cynical now, but I was having fun at the time...) Anyway when it came out that I had a boyfriend they'd ask how long we'd been together, which at that time was six months. Everyone on hearing that gave me the exact same reaction "Oh, a long term relationship". No asshole. Fuck you. Just because we're gay it doesn't make six months a long time.

It really made me sad seeing that the consensus of the gay community was that if you had managed to survive six months with someone suddenly it was this amazing thing that was almost incomprehensible.

So if you're one of these people - I hate you.

Love Eric
CUTSLEEVE boys

And remember boys and girls - if you're running with scissors have the blades pointing out, it's always better to impale someone else.